Feeling very alone right now. Not sure why. Feeling alone and adrift, heading nowhere and with no one by my side.
Has my time as a prowling maneater on the loose finally caught up with me? Perhaps. Having many men I spend time with but no one to truly belong to is much more lonely than I had expected. It's lonely to have to keep rejecting their offers of commitment, while I keep waiting for a man I feel is truly worthy of my commitment.
Am I being too picky? I don't know. I want a man that I am physically attracted to, I won't lie about that. I hate to be shallow like that, but is it really that much to ask for? I want someone smart, with ambition and goals, someone who can hold an intelligent conversation with me. Someone who is going somewhere with their life. Someone who likes animals, and is not allergic to cats. Someone I can goof off with, because I can be such a dork. Someone who wouldn't mind laying around all day with me, watching dvds or tv. Someone who can handle me in bed, because I can be a bit of horny sex kitten... I love sex. Someone who will be affectionate with me, as I love to be affectionate and cuddly- hand holding, little kisses on the lips and cheek, butt pinching, etc. Someone who makes time for me, someone who will go out of their way to tell me that they like me and seek me out when we are dating. Someone who will get along with my friends and be able to spend time around my family.Someone who stands up for me- I will not tolerate being disrespected and not being defended by my boyfriend. I dealt with that way too much before.
Why do I ask for so much? Because I offer all of this in return. Is it really that crazy to want someone who can be on my level? I want someone who is just as well rounded as me. There has to be a man out there who is just as amazing as I am.... Where is he?
In the meantime, I guess I'll just keep waiting it out...... I suppose I choose loneliness over settling.
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