Finally, a job has materialized on the horizon, after almost 6 long months, and many months more before that last disaster of a job. Albeit, it is just a temp position, but in this drowning cesspool of a jobmarket, its better than nothing.
Fifteen an hour, to punch in data for an insurance agency in Orange. Not bad. And finally, I will have the daily routine and structure that I have so desperately craved. Having all the time in the world to yourself certainly sounds like a dream, but I guess for me, it can easily turn into stir crazy cabin fever. While there are plenty of things I know I can do to occupy my time all by myself, somehow, without a structure, I seem to enter into a depressed sort of suspended animation. I don't quite understand it myself, there is so much I could do! I could read whatever I want (and there is always so much I want to read), I could work on a sewing project, I could work out (or attempt to... hah!), I could write... It feels as if all these options seem to oppress me, strangely. As if there is so much I want to do, that I paralyze myself in a catatonic eagerness to do it all. And then as I end up doing nothing, I get sort of depressed and crave a routine imposed by an outside force. If I can't make up my mind about what to do with all my time, then a routine will certainly decide for me!
Perhaps, I have only my weak decision making skills and weak motivation to thank... I should probably work on that.
Well, until next time,
Kisses from Miss Tina <3
